I am learning to allow the grace of God to be suﬃcient for me.
His grace is just that… It’s His.
It’s His part of the equation.
It’s His power.
It’s His ability.
It’s His empowerment.
For the past week or so, I’ve felt so weak… doubtful, afraid.
I’ve felt tempted to take matters into my own hands concerning my ministry and a crusade that I felt the Lord wanted me to do for students and young adults, The Shout.
My calendar isn’t as full as I’d like.
It seems like money has been thin and that expenses have been at an all time high and
there aren’t many people signing up to attend the youth event.
As a result, I became fearful and was no longer enjoying the peace and joy I was experiencing in my times with the Lord — an experience that was the result of the revelation I had been growing in concerning the true grace of God — one that brings freedom to self-eﬀort and says, “I can’t, but I have faith that He can.”
I’ve felt tempted to do in my own ministry what I said I’d never do — promote myself, let people know I’m available to minister, put myself out there.
Now, if God were leading me to do such things, that’s one thing. I never want to be too proud to do what I said I’d never do.
I just simply want to see God be the one to open doors and provide for me. I’ve always believed that such things are the sign that I’m doing what He wants me to do.
I’ve always felt that my part is to be obedient, to step out in faith and that His part is to make a way.
I don’t feel like I’m in pride and I don’t feel like God is telling me to do something diﬀerent. I feel like I’m being tempted to violate the very revelation I’ve been enjoying — the revelation of grace.
Grace brings rest and I have been feeling the exact opposite.
I’ve been feeling a sense of urgency and a need to act, ﬁx what’s wrong, and make things happen.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll do whatever it is God is asking me to do — so long as it’s conﬁrmed — even if it means doing what I said I’d never do.
But the temptation has been to do God’s part of the equation… to do things in my own strength from a place or motive of fear.
That alone should tell me such feelings or thoughts are not from the Lord — the Prince of Peace.
As far as I can tell, I’ve been obedient.
I stepped out into full time itinerant ministry in January of this year after years of waiting and after receiving much conﬁrmation about the timing of things.
I said ‘yes’ to doing youth crusades and have begun the process of hosting one.
I’m doing what I feel like He wants me to do with this event and up to this point, it’s been eﬀortless and has been backed up with His favor. Why should the matter of attendance be any diﬀerent? I’ve certainly allowed it to feel that way.
There’s humility in obedience.
Out of love and reverence, I surrender my will for another’s.
And in the weak moments that I’ve felt, His grace will be suﬃcient.
I don’t have to ﬁx or ﬁgure out what’s working humility in me and causing me to become more dependent.
His strength is perfected in my weakness, and I can feel His strength again.
I realize that there are times of testing in the life of the believer… times when our commitment and faith are tried… this feels like one of those moments.
Times when we are tempted to take matters into our own hands — much like Saul did when he oﬀered the sacriﬁce before Samuel’s arrival because fear got the best of him.
Times when we are tempted to compromise and do what we said we’d never do.
It’s in these times when we get to prove our love and see our faith, which is more precious than gold, be reﬁned.
It’s more valuable than the wealth of the world because the wealth of the world can never do for you what faith can.
I will not seek to alleviate circumstances that are deepening humility, purifying my faith, and causing me to surrender more.
It’s here where I get to see grace do what only grace can do.
It’s here where His grace becomes suﬃcient and it’s here where His strength kisses my weakness.
- Brian Connolly, Faith Like Birds Ministries